I have been thinking that it is time to take a minute to talk about the big picture: we are two women, in a relationship with each other, who have chosen to move from Seattle (often regarded as a haven of progressivism) to Northern Wisconsin (not often regarded as such).
People have expressed concern for our safety and well-being. Others have no doubt thought that we were nuts to move from a broadly supportive community into a great unknown. Still others have expressed their enthusiasm and support for taking this step.
So far, we have been met with a lot of warmth and kindness. We have been welcomed to the community in a variety of ways and with great sincerity. We have also confused some people. At one point I had to explain to a service person who wanted to leave a message for Rhonda: "No, really, you can talk to me. Rhonda's refrigerator is my refrigerator."
Today we found out that several people on campus were under the impression that I was moving to the area with my daughter, Rhonda. Thankfully, some of my colleagues took it upon themselves to clear things up. (My thought: I know that my dissertation defense sprouted some new gray hairs. But, do I really look that old?)
Today Rhonda met our neighbors to the south -- an elderly couple named Herbert and Betty. Herbert took a spill in the driveway and Rhonda went over to help. She and Betty ended up chatting for a while. Rhonda did not proclaim herself a homo to Betty's face. Betty might not get it. If she did get it, she might be bothered or scared. But, I imagine she understood that there was a kind person helping her husband when she could not. It is my naive and abiding faith in the power of community and connection that continues to make me believe this big adventure will work.
I have no doubt that we will face some tough experiences here. This is a reality for all people in this country who are not a part of the majority culture. I can't imagine how our experiences would be different if we were people of color, non-citizens, poor, etc.
I also find it tremendously reassuring to know that we have a community of people out there reading this little blog and wishing us well on our journey.
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3 comments:
Amy and Rhonda,
i am so happy you two made it out there safely and are already bonding with the peeps around you.
just to demistify a bit...as you know i still live in Seattle and my and Irina's neighbor stopped talking to us shortly after he had asked us if we were sisters, cousins and then even mother and daughter and we had replied that no we were none of that, in fact we were no blood relatives...
so, anywhere in the world can be welcoming or not so much. i am sure you will develop great bonds over there, and that Buddy's black nose is a good omen!
Buddy probably has "snow nose" which has less to do with snow than seasons. Maybe it's the doggy version of seasonal affective disorder.
I am glad to hear that you and your lovely daughter, Rhonda, are doing well in the WI.
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