outlaws

Rhonda's parents are in town. They are really good people -- kind and generous and extremely hard working. They are wrapping up day two of insulating and dry-walling our bedroom. The significance is not lost on me that Rhonda's rather conservative, Christian, parents drove 16 hours to spend a week working on their lesbian daughter's big-gay bedroom.

Did I mention that we have never spent any time together before (I had only met them once before).

"family"

So, uhm, about the "dyke bar" in Green Bay... here is my version of the story with some creative liberties taken.

The cute waitress at the sushi place (which was amazing) warned us that "Sass" could be, at times, "scary." We asked for clarification and she said "it's enough to turn you straight." She went on to explain that people could be really unfriendly and clique-ish and that you could practically get beat up for just looking at someone the wrong way. Rhonda and I looked at each other and said why not -- it would at least be interesting in a rough-and-tumble kind of way.

So, we headed towards the industrial area -- which, in Green Bay, is practically redundant-- turning right under the overpass and before the train tracks. The bar was almost unmarked -- there were neon signs in the window including some rainbow Bud signs and one that read "Sass" in very small letters.

We prepare our tough-selves to enter this tough bar. We walk in. There is nobody there. just the bar tender. Marissa, I think. We look around and the very, very bare-essentials interior (an old, run down couch in one corner, two pool tables, several video game) and amble over to the bar. Within a minute two more women (probably younger, looked like they play softball) come in and sit at the opposite end of the bar. We order drinks, and birthday girl gets a free shot. I am completely and totally distracted by the fact that there are multiple TVs on and I can't match up the sound with the image. Needless to say I am not the best bar-companion. At some point, after the tequila and gin and tonics settle into her blood stream, Rhonda begins lamenting the situation: "Why isn't there anyone here? Where are all the dykes? Are there only four dykes in Green Bay? I WANT EYE CANDY!" The latter, of course, is so unlike Rhonda that I begin laughing hysterically and practically fall off of the bar stool. As I look around to reassess the situation, my eyes are drawn to the fact that the woman closest to us is nursing a plastic bottle. My eyes then fall to the bar where I see her tin of chewing tobacco next to her drink. I swivel back to rhonda and report back that dykes in Wisconsin CHEW TOBACCO. Rhonda, as amazed, squints her eyes to peer through the dark and sees the bottle in hand. She squeals like a little girl and says "oh my god, ewwwww. gross."

We soon after left the bar and headed to the grocery store. We stocked up on two weeks worth of food and headed back to our little house. We were home and in bed by midnight; I'm sure that the scene at Sass was just beginning to get interesting.

feliz cumpleaños, querida

33 years ago Rhonda Lee Mellinger was born into this world.

We have spent seven birthdays together in a wide range of settings. The first birthday we spent together we were brand new to this relationship (1 month in), and I took her to the Oregon coast for the day. We celebrated both of our 30th b.days by going to Costa Rica. Two years ago we were in Port Townsend drinking champagne (where Rhonda claims to have gotten drunk for the first time ever -- see photos above). This year we are headed to Green Bay to eat Sushi and to find the dyke bar (yes, there is one). And then, after that, we're going grocery shopping!

I am amazed and honored to spend a seventh birthday tucked away in our little house in the North Woods. What an adventure it has been!

Autumn

Today Rhonda hung out several loads of wash, taking full advantage of the 70 degree sun. It was a remarkable day, and I felt the need to document (to the best of my ability) the colors and light.

I am suffering deeply from camera envy. Tricia brought their beautiful, new, Cannon SLR digital camera, and she let me try it out. It was so amazing. Suddenly my little Cybershot seems old and outdated. (This is the problem with technology, it accelerates the cycle of wants.)

I was able to catch a few interesting viewpoints, though i think it was mostly accidental.

Innards

I have been a blog slacker. This causes me great worry: will my readership dwindle? Will I lose touch with my peeps? Will my mom ever read my blog when it is not updated regularly?

It is enough to keep a girl up at night.

So I offer a series of excuses:

1. It is a lot of work to teach 4 writing classes
2. I had a lot of catching up to do 'cause baby Rio was captivating & distracting
   
3. We tore apart our bedroom
   

The third excuse is, perhaps, the most original and interesting. Yes, we entirely gutted our bedroom last week, starting with the ceiling and working our way to the carpeting and multiple layers of paneling. (Wisconsin interior design tip #125: What do you put over paneling? PANELING!) It was FUN -- and a lot of freakin' hard work. It became less fun once the insulation started falling down and we had gallons of loose cellulose "blown" insulation filling the room with dust and nastiness. But, we persevered (Rhonda taking over most of the work once Monday rolled around), and we are now ready for R's parents to come and help us drywall. Let us all say a prayer to the deities of your choice that we can actually drywall this funny, catty-wampus room.

On an entirely different note: we were watching Gray's Anatomy last night when I realized that I knew one of the patients. Ruthie, the over-zealous dieter and exercise fiend, was played by Maggie Siff who I know from Bryn Mawr. I rather idolized Maggie in college -- she always had the lead in the College plays whereas I was remaindered to the likes of a talking bird (yes, it's true). She also, I remembered last night, was one of the three people who took me out for a beer on my 21st birthday; she was older, cool and sophisticated. Sadly, Maggie/Ruthie died a rather gross death last night that began with vomiting blood and, subsequently, sending Rhonda to hide entirely under the covers while screaming "Oh my god! Oh my god!"

Maggie is an amazing actress and a very cool person. She has a recurring role in "Mad Men" -- a series about advertising execs in the 1960s. After years in the Philly and NYC theater she has taken the LA plunge; I hope that her career continues to skyrocket. Plus, do you know what this does for my status in the realm of six-degrees (of Kevin Bacon)?!

Rio!

My friend Tricia and her new, beautiful, baby-girl, Rio Shanti, arrived on Thursday. We are having so much fun just playing and talking. The only thing that would make it better would be having Tonja (Rio's mommy) here with us.

Buddy liked Rio a lot, at first. But then she got some special treatment, and she didn't leave soon enough, and it was like a call to war. Buddy spent much time (after this photo was taken) asserting his dominance and protecting me from Rio.

when turkeys come to call

Yesterday at lunchtime we had visitors. 24 of them. They are SO BIG now it is hard to do them justice. However, I used the computer's camera to quickly capture their image.