Parents, Socks, and Gardening

The title is the definitive of what we have been doing over the last week or so.

My parents were here for a short visit. It was interesting to note the subtle differences caused by shift in location. Wisconsin is not too, too far from PA, and so the trip was less of a hassle, and less of a big commitment. I think, and you can correct me if I am wrong Mom and Dad, that this lesser distance and the fact that we are not longer in a big city -- and the fact that our setting is now rural, quieter, less "happening" -- made for a more relaxed visit all around. We spent more time just hanging out, playing games, eating (fish-fry, Schloegels, Micky-Lu's, etc.) and working around our house.

Mom tries out David's electric lawn mower.

Somewhere, Al Gore is smiling.

While my dad was tinkering away at a number of house projects, I took advantage of my mom's knitting expertise and support to push my way through finishing the second of my first pair of socks. Cindy refers to this hesitation as "Second Sock Syndrome", and I had it really bad. I had already picked out some yarn for a new pair of socks, and just looking at that fine merino wool dyed the colors of the ocean made me want to ditch Rhonda's socks really fast. However, with mom's input and, at times, horror, I trucked through and finished. The final products is pretty darn good considering they are my first. The most notable issue being that I didn't line up the yarn so that the socks match. But what the heck, matching socks are overrated, right? Here they are in all of their green, stripey, splendor.




And finally, there is the garden. We planted most of our plants a week ago, and we are weathering an adjustment period (it was 77 and humid the day we planted and the overnight low the following two nights was in the 30s). Nonetheless, the garden is looking good and starting to grow. All the plants are currently enjoying a good soaking in the form of an afternoon storm.


wee plants in the big boxes
a few days after planting



our re-purposed box spring

My parents have returned to Pennsylvania, the socks are completed, and the garden is on autopilot for a while. I officially declared today to be Pajama Day, a declaration that marks my commitment to being extraordinarily lazy and ushering in the summer season. I am excited to try out this thing called summer vacation. While I have plenty of academic and house projects on the horizon, the next couple of days or weeks will be spent enjoying the quiet, reading for fun, and taking long naps in the middle of the day.

go-obama-go!

I called my parents (in Pennsylvania) a few hours ago and left a message that went like this:

"Hi Mom and Dad. Uhm... I meant to tell you this a few days ago, but if you don't vote for Obama today you can't come and visit us in May. And, oh yeah, can we buy your sump pump, Dad? Ours is broken. Love you, bye."

I imagine it is technically illegal (to extort votes, not buying sump pumps) but that just shows how much I care about this election.

Best of East Coast Retrospective

Decided to condense this entry of photos from our winter break on the East Coast
(no offense to any of the removed subjects!)



shadows of 30th street
philadelphia, pa



Gaby in the bakery (old ladies ooh and
aah over a baby)
ny, ny



a sunny, sunny day
newport news, va



gabriel - learning about my peoples
philly

Friends of Dorothy

Several months ago my mother and grandmother kinda accidentally ended up at a gay pride event in Rehoboth Beach. My mom and I both -- and in different ways -- thought the story was very funny. My favorite part was when she described coming across a booth with t-shirts, some of which read "Friends of Dorothy." My mom then turned to her mother, Dorothy, and asked "so, what do you think THAT means?"

In a ridiculous train of thought that only the attention deficient could appreciate, this story came back to me as I thought about the past three weeks of visiting family and friends. After 25 days away, we finally returned to casa lesbinger (still looking for a good home/farm/estate name!) yesterday afternoon.

While away, Rhonda and I got to spend lots of time with our families -- together and apart -- and I finally got to meet and spend time with her niece and nephew. This was no small thing: it has been a number of years since Rhonda came out to her family and, until this Christmas, I had only met her sister and family once. Distance (us in Seattle and them in Virginia), adjustments (they being quite Christian) and timing meant that I had never spent time with the whole family before. It was a really big deal (to me and for Rhonda as well) that I was welcomed and included in their family Christmas celebrations. I finally got to play and talk with those kids whose photos have been gracing our refrigerator for years.

One night when we all went out to dinner together, I had this strange moment of feeling a part of Rhonda's family. There was also realization of the multiple ways in which the "family" sitting around the table was quite amazing. Rhonda's family is white, and her brother-in-law is Chinese-American, and the kids are bi-racial (duh!). As we sat around the table in our queer, multi-racial formation, it struck me that this family assembled here was very different from what Rhonda's parents could have imagined for their future when they were the parents of two young girls. And yet, there we were. together. connected to each other.

This all comes back around for me with the idea of Dorothy -- as in Wizard of Oz -- as a gay icon because she is the de facto queen of a group of rag-tag characters ( who feel out of place because of a lack of courage, heart, and brains). Dorothy is the glue that creates "family" in unlikely circumstances; she is the one who extends the boundaries of norms and acceptance.

I appreciate all of the various formations of my queer (literally and figuratively, of course) families and the ways in which the lives of those around me make me feel at home.

mellingers

Rhonda's parents left this afternoon. I am forever indebted to them for insulating, re-building, drywalling and mudding our rather large bedroom. Rhonda and her dad bonded over this project (one night working until 9:30pm) and all three of them worked tirelessly for six days in a row. The last morning, while Rhonda and her dad did last-minute things, her mom taught me how to make and can apple sauce. We had a really nice visit, and we never be able to repay them for all of the hard work.

outlaws

Rhonda's parents are in town. They are really good people -- kind and generous and extremely hard working. They are wrapping up day two of insulating and dry-walling our bedroom. The significance is not lost on me that Rhonda's rather conservative, Christian, parents drove 16 hours to spend a week working on their lesbian daughter's big-gay bedroom.

Did I mention that we have never spent any time together before (I had only met them once before).